David Cameron has today issued a groveling apology to French President Nicolas Sarkozy having been overheard referring to him as “a complete fucking cunt” during discussions to end the debt crisis deadlock at the European Parliament. This follows an embarrassing week for European leaders who have been having trouble keeping their cool during long hours of intense talks.
Nicolas Sarkozy on Angela Merkel after a closed door meeting yesterday:
“I imagine her cunt smells like a cross between a bratwurst and an airing cupboard but I would still fuck her. Who could resist leading a French cannon into German territory for a change?”
Silvio Berlusconi on Nicolas Sarkozy and Angela Merkel after their well-publicised “Smirk”:
“If those two fucks insult me again I’ll fucking stick my cock so far up their fucking asses they’ll choke to death.”
Greek Foreign Minister Stavros Lambrinidis on other European leaders as an agreement neared completion:
“They are all abso-fucking-lutely great. I love them. Can I have some money now?”
* Disclaimer: All the above is fucking true.
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