Ever wondered if this song you are listening to is a piece of shit?

Have you ever wondered in the song you're listening to is a piece of shit? Let's face it, it's something we've all done. Remember listening to theme of Titanic, or maybe the work of Mr Blobby, or more recently 'Fun' and 'their' 'hit' 'We are young'? It can be so hard separating the Vindaloos from the Kashmirs. But never fear, we here at the Sewing Circle are concerned for your aural health have compiled this cut out and keep guide. If the song you are listening satisfies any of the following criteria then you are, mon frère, listening to a cerifiable piece of shit.

1. The front man has “tattoos” that are removable put on for one of their videos.
2. Their biggest hit is described as a summer anthem.
3. The song has feat. in the title.
4. The song is in the top 10 of the UK charts for the last 5 years
5. They have ANY (however) remote connection to the X fucking Factor.
6. The song is a “mash up”
7. The lead singer is complemented on their vocal range
8. It’s made by a singer songwriter
9. The lead singer is a female
10. The song is pish
11. They spend more time in hair and make-up than the studio
12. They appear in Heat, Closer, 3am, etc.
13. None of the band have had a significant drug problem
14. They deliberately spell the title of their songs incorrectly
15. Make "gang" signs in their videos
16. Appear on the Graham Norton show
17. The genre of music you are listening to has the preface Euro i.e europop eurodance etc..
18. STOCK AITKEN WATERMAN
19. The bands origins come from a children’s cartoon
20. t4 were instrumental in the bands success.
21. They have conducted at least one gig at a beach.
22. They have been romantically connected to either:
    1. a boy/girlband member
    2. a Radio 1 "DJ" of any sex
23. They have been on Celebrity Juice
24. They have a line of clothing or a "fragrance"
25. They tweet
26. They are linked to the empty judges seats on BBCs the voice.
27. They've been rid by curly bap from one direction
28. Was a world cup song for England that wasn't made by new order especially Bell and Spurling
29. Lead singer has children named Apple and Moses 
30. They are an artist known for 'Constantly reinventing themselves.'